Is there's something wrong with my Imaan?

 بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Assalamualaikum dearself, 

I know that these few days has been hard on you. You were left with a constant 'emptiness', a lot of overthinking and the thoughts of suicidal that keeps lingering inside your mind. Oh Allah, please forgive all of my negative thinking when I wasn't really aware and have control over that. 

I've been keeping this feeling for quite a time, always making myself to find my own space and ways to make everything to be better. There is nothing wrong, nor any problems that is happening around me, is it just me that always feel incomplete? out of nowhere, without any solid reason. MashaAllah, Allah is the best listener that I can always rely on, when I cant really put my words in my dua, I always asked Him to grant and give the best out of the things that I is packed in my heart. That is when, I was able to talk to my dearest best friend, Shahrul Khairina. What she is going through and facing right now is much greater than I am, but there she is last week with me, crying together through Teams Videocall. She always understands me, never did she said that I am weird (like i always feel like i am), what i have been feeling is not funny and it is okay for me. Ya Allah, thank you for sending her into my life. She just really helps me to put all the miserable things to its place. 

I still find it hard for me to explain and express the things, as I tend to keep everything to myself. I wonder, If i am able to write it in here?

5:08pm, 12-Jul-2021. I'll just leave everything in here for now. Thought that I'm about write down with the title related thing, but it's just too stuffy inside my heart. InshaAllah till the next writings.